Friday's ultrasound turned out to be my worst nightmare-the bean hadn't grown much and his lil heart no longer beat. I am devastated as this lil bean was as much a part of me as my other two children. How can you love something you've never seen, felt, nuzzled,kissed or cuddled? It's now Monday and I've had my D&C, the babies remains and fetal tissue have been sent to be biopsied to see if they can determine exactly what the cause of this loss was; the Dr's believe it was a chromosomal abnormality, which apparenlty is very common. I've come to terms with the fact that now is better than later; had we found out a couple of months from now that there were gross abnormalities I would have had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy at that time and more than likely would have had to give birth to a child that was not alive...that would have been more than I could take.
I will always love this angel baby of mine and am so grateful to have had the 8 weeks of overwhelming joy that I had; I consider myself fortunate. RIP in my lil one!!
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