Confirmation ultrasound today....my heart is shattered!

The fertility clinic has confirmed that baby died a few days ago; after reviewing the u/s closely there is not visible reason why this has occurred.  I'd like to have a miscarriage naturally but since we are flying out of town on Thursday, I'll have to have a D&C prior to then so that I'm  not faced with the possibility of being away from home and a m/c happening at that time.  The D&C last time was so emotionally devastating to me as opposed to the mediated m/c which allowed me to be awake and experience the entire process.  The one good thing about a D&C is that they'll send the remains to the lab to be tested; I just pray that there is some chromosomal issue - it won't help the hurt any but it will give me an explanation as to "why"...the last D&C resulted in a normal healthy baby boy, and that is just so hard to wrap my head around.  How does a normal healthy baby simply die?  It makes no sense.  I'm exhausted both emotionally and physically.  I needed some retail therapy so I went out and bought myself a Wii and have been playing video games and streaming movies this weekend and later today I'll go get my hair done.  Then I'll go to Vegas and get shit faced drunk for the time I'm there!!  I had so many plans to get this house in order this weekend and I simply can't bring myself to do anything... :-(