Today just sucks...life isn't fair....God hates me!!!

Went to the ER today ...because I just had a "feeling"...I haven't been bleeding and have had some mild "normal" cramping...at least I thought it was normal...I had an u/s and when the u/s tech wouldn't give me any answers and wouldn't even tell me if she could see a HB I knew something was wrong...well, back in ER the Dr came in and said "well, I gotta tell ya...no HB"...just like that...I saw the pics that were left on the u/s screen and there was this little perfectly formed baby...but apparently his/her heart had stopped beating within the last day or so, this is explains the vanishing pregnancy symptoms that everybody told me "don't worry, it's normal...".  Well, normal my ass!!!!  I'm sick and sad and angry and numb...I wish my heart would stop beating so that I wouldn't have to feel this pain! It's just not fair! How could I have had such great progress and then all of the sudden baby dies...it just doesn't make sense. And to top it off....Russ is out of town and I'm here alone...just me and my heartache.